Nice Day Today

Had a very nice day today.  Dropped both kids off at friends' houses and got to spend the day with my wife.  We've been a little stressed as a couple, sniping at each other due to lack of money (I'm only working part-time right now).  But spending the day together today was really nice.  Of course, it was not what she WANTED to do, so she thinks we got nothing done today, but it was still a nice day.  But it wouldn't have always been that way...

Before I was diagnosed with Asperger's a year ago, we were constantly stressed out and even the days we were together without the kids, weren't good days.  We would spend days like that quiet and doing our own separate things.  My inability to figure out the emotions of others was stressful for her since I never responded to her when she was upset, except for maybe trying to "fix" whatever was upsetting her.  I also was keeping in my stress and not letting it out in the presence of others, so she never really knew what I was feeling.  She would often guess, but was rarely right.  Things I did confused her since I never reacted to situations in the same way she would, and when she'd question me about why I did what I did, I would get upset thinking she was telling me that I did it wrong.  She cared about me and I cared about her (at least in my own way), but that was not enough.  We needed to UNDERSTAND each other.  Even the SUSPICION that I had Asperger's wasn't enough to help us understand each other.

All that changed with my official diagnosis.  Instead of the suspicion that I was wired differently, it became real.  Strategies that I had developed over my lifetime became more acceptable with the official diagnosis.  Instead of just being strange, I was different for a reason.  It made my marriage and my family life 1000X better.  However, it had the OPPOSITE effect on my job...

I was brought back to memories of my diagnosis after I read an article about another marriage that was saved by an Asperger's diagnosis.  And my GRASP message boards have had a number of threads about relationships.  So, in addition to those, and helping my friend understand the failed relationship she had with someone who has Asperger's, I realized that my marriage is on of the great successes of my life.  And, no matter how often I wish I was on my own, I wouldn't give up my family for the world!